clench...

Facing mountains and valleys. Highs and lows. Wondering if the lows are because my highs aren't as high as I remember. For now, it's just repetition. Cycles. Predictability. Mediocrity. I am happy. I have every reason to be happy. I'm healthy, I have a job, I can pay my bills, I have food to eat, I have a family who loves me. I am happy.

It all comes down to what it always has....

I feel like I'm pushing myself lower by dwelling on what is no longer. Like I'm just magnifying the negative by continually focusing on it. I hear so many things so many times over and over about faith, and God, and trust, and patience.... Some of it sets in, takes root, feels effective. Then the rest? I get angry. So tired of hearing the cliches that so often never come to fruition.

So I wait...