weigh

My thoughts are running away from me... Too fast and too far. Sometimes - accomplished, successful, content, happy. Others? Lonely. Sad. Lost. Failure.

I wonder where did I go wrong? What misstep did I take? Why am I so far from where I thought I'd be, and why can I not attempt to crawl out of this ditch and return to solid, stable ground. I'm struggling just to stay with the current - I've given up fighting against it. Survival. Breathe. Sooner or later, I'll wash up on shore, battered, breathless, and dripping with the consequences of my past mistakes... or I'll tumble into the rapids and over the falls. I have to fight.

Guilt envelopes me as I dwell on the life I left so far behind. Was it worth it? What did I find? My heart aches, and my arms reach out instinctively to find and embrace and recoup what I lost. But if you choose to leave it behind and not look back, is it really lost? Old dreams are dying; reincarnating into new ones...more rational ones? Rationale. What good is it? Life is built on dreams, they say.

All I can do is keep taking that next step. One foot in front of the other. Walk on. This too shall pass. Just keep on keepin' on.

"I took the road less traveled and that has made all the difference..." I seem to have lost the path.