blink

Scared of the clarity with which I see myself, how easily I understand my contemplations.... And yet I don't. Desperate to force things. Everyone around me is so perfectly happy. So content. So complete. It's like the world makes such absolute sense for anyone and everyone except me. While the stars and planets are aligning elsewhere, the world around me is spinning so fast and so out of control that things are shaking loose, coming unraveled, crashing, and all I want is the stability I lack.

Settling simply to acertaine a title, a definition, a meaning. Because outside of my own individual, complicated existence, I feel like I have none.