dreams

They've been frequent, although not to the point of being regular. Engagement dreams. My cousin said she had them all the time before her now-husband proposed... maybe it's a sign. It's funny how they've progressed though, in a surprisingly positive fashion. One would think that as the time supposedly loomed closer, they might get worse.

I was leaving my home, walking out to my car and there he stood. Just standing there next to my car with his arm outstretched, a velvet black box snuggled in the palm of his hand. My response, lacking any forethought, was "you call that a proposal?"

I can't recall the time or place. All I can remember is the ring - an absolutely horribly hideous piece of jewelry that may have been considered vogue in the early 20th century. It was four square stones arranged in a larger square, each bearing a pattern that contrasted the other. The stones were dark in color and nothing like what I wanted.

Most recently, we were at some function with a large group of people including various members of my family. Speeches or toasts were underway, and Dan stood up and stole the microphone from someone, then looked at one of my brothers and said, "would your sister marry me?" I was awestruck and immediately broke into tears as he slipped the ring on my finger. It was almost exactly what I wanted except the center stone was big, clunky and cloudy with a significant flaw in the middle of it. It held no sparkle; dull is the best way to describe it.

In a conscious effort to put aside my hopes and expectations so I can be surprised when the day comes, my subconscious is compensating... and it's a bit frustrating!