playing doctor...

it's amazing the things we find ourselves capable of doing for the ones we love. The most awful of circumstances become nearly second nature when someone's well-being is on the line. although looking back, it could have been an exaggeration, i thought i saw my other half hanging on the fringes of danger, the tendrils of death looming far too close for comfort. in that indescribable moment, i set aside all emotion - anger, disgust, frustration - and transformed into life-saving mode. Every half hour, i repeated the same mantra: check breathing, check pulse, check airway, check position. amazed at my complete lack of exhaustion despite the early hours of the morning and a black void where normal sleep should have taken hold. a repeated conversation went on in my own head for hours: should i call the ambulance or not? is it alcohol poisoning or not? is this all just an overreaction or not? am i crazy or not? despite the multi-personality-dilemma weighing heavily on my mind, i resorted to waiting and checking...waiting and checking...and waiting. the sign that i knew it we were all in the clear? he had turned over. hours upon hours of laying in the same comatose slump, eyes rolled back in their sockets and shallow breaths just barely lifting the ribcage gave way to a fetal position. a welcome sign. movement, life. an evening's events i would happily never experience for the rest of my life...however proud and reassured that were the unlikely to ring true once again, the same mechanical involuntary reactions would sputter and jolt into action.