pillow....

Feeling disconnected at best. Like I don't have a place, somewhere that I belong. I belong here, I tell myself, but the reminder of what I've left behind creeps in like darkness as the sun sets. I miss stability. I miss a schedule. I miss that constant busyness. For now, I have to settle to be taken care of. To be dependent on anything but myself because for now, just for now, I can't do it alone. Such a strange feeling to be so completely incapable, so inadequate, so helpless.

But I'm pressing on, pushing forward, adamantly taking the offensive. I will get past this. I will succeed. I will. I will.

I'm thankful for family. Thankful for those who, despite everything, will always be there with open arms and open doors. To be able to depend on something so stable and so sure is a blessing beyond understanding. It's at least a blanket from the cold.