hearty...

Cooking just makes me happy. It's as simple as that. I'm sure I've said it before, but I love coming home with bags full of groceries and taking raw ingredients and combining them to make something so delicious and heart-warming that it makes me want to dance.


October is almost over, which means fall is already half over if you can believe it. It feels like just yesterday, the hubby and I were strolling down the charming streets of Portsmouth, New Hampshire on our anniversary weekend, but low and behold that was in fact over a month ago! With the arrival of fall, my (and probably a lot of other people as well) senses shift and suddenly I'm craving those hearty, nostalgic meals that stick to your bones and warm you from the inside out. The weather hasn't quite been cooperating, and I can't say that I'm complaining. We've had a pretty mild fall so far, all things considered. I think I can count on one hand the number of days that temperatures have dropped below 45 at night and on average, the temperatures during the days have been close to 60 give or take. Granted, we just endured a hurricane that was dubbed the largest storm in history for New England, but thank God Almighty it was rain and not ice and snow.

All that said, it was high time I made some soup. I really thought about it yesterday while I was relaxing at home and the wind and rain was pummeling the bay window, but my fear that the power would go out mid-cooking overcame my desire to make one of my favorite meals. So, it was only natural that my next opportunity, I was at the grocery store filling my basket with all kinds of goodies. (Despite the torrential rains that were flooding the streets - totally unexpected.)

So here we are. A year or two ago, I took my favorite soup of all time - butternut bisque - and gave it a little twist by adding sweet potato. With the help of some spices, herbs and a touch of sweetness mixed with stock and light cream, my new favorite soup was complete. Paired with the only natural thing to complete this kind of meal - a crusty grilled cheese sandwich, I was a happy girl (and I'm pretty sure my husband was a happy man.)

To soup... Enjoy the season's flavors while you can.

patience...

I have been given a new challenge... A challenge in patience, humility and trust. In the past few months, my faith has been restored as much as it has been tried. I posted a while ago that I've started getting that itch. You know what I mean. Since then, I feel like everyone else on the planet is expecting except for me. I've gone through feelings of self-pity to anger to frustration to fear and back to calm. Everyone's story is different, and that's part of what makes this world such a beautiful place. If we were all the same, life wouldn't be nearly as exciting.

Anyone who knows me knows I'm a bit of a control freak and a confessed plan-aholic. I love planning things. I love having something to look forward to and seeing all my ducks lined up in a row until that moment when it all comes together. I love knowing that I'm in control and I love instant gratification; my husband, more than anyone, knows that I'm not a patient person. I wanted to give him his anniversary gift three months early; when I can't get something to work the first time, I have to force myself not to walk away. So I really should have seen this coming. I am trying to come to peace with the fact that I'm really not in control - there is Someone who has far more insight into my life than I possibly could and it has been a real test in patience and trust to not only come to that conclusion, but to accept it every day.

There's a verse in the Bible that says "We are wonderfully and beautifully made," and I have to remind myself of that more than once a day sometimes. "If God cares so deeply about the birds of the air and the flowers on the ground, how much more does he care about us? (paraphrased)."  Every day, every trial we go through has a purpose to make us stronger. It doesn't make the trial any easier, but it makes the outcome that much sweeter.

My mother let me borrow some cd's by Joyce Meyer which I started listening to yesterday. As my mother, she has been the listening ear to much of my fears and frustrations, so it shouldn't have surprised me that the first disk I listened to is about trust and patience. After just one day of listening, I can see my thought processes shifting and my walls coming down...to a degree. As hard as it is to sit back and be patient, we make more of a mess of things when we try to take control of it ourselves. The words of a song we used to sing in Sunday school just came back to me as I'm writing this: "Have patience, have patience. Don't be in such a hurry. If you get impatient, you'll only start to worry. Remember, remember that God is patient too. Just think of all the times when others have to wait for you."

 If I want this this badly, I have to be willing to relinquish control and trust that everything happens in God's time... The fact that I do want this this badly is evidence that it will be granted... I just have to stop worrying about when.

Easier said than done, but each day is a new day.