plans

So all of a sudden I finally have the freedom to take all my ideas and all my planning and put it to work. Flowers and centerpieces, lace and organza, candles and sparkling white lights have literally been circling around in my head like this recipe of matrimonial stew; as the light turns green and I can finally begin the race to organize it all into existence, I suddenly have no idea where to begin. Instead of spewing forth in an organized fashion, it's all cluttering the tunnel from thought to action.

I'm lingering on details that really have such little influence on the entire picture, and yet it's so hard to detach this focus. The overwhelming desire to avoid the ill-fated tag of Bridezilla is so heavy and it gains more weight every single day. But that concern mingles with the fear of not getting what I want because I don't speak my mind and suddenly I see myself surrounded by a cookie-cutter reception with tall, groomed topiaries and napkins the color of dying grass and the spine-tingling tune of 'It's Not Unusual' wafting over the speakers, a random great uncle twice removed snapping his fingers in the corner. I know this is entirely unrealistic and unlikely..but I'm sure it's the fear of every bride-to-be.

The important details are the big ones... Vows, love, trust, faith, hope... Food, flowers and music fade and die away. The reason, the symbolism, behind the day is the spotlight. Suddenly, I sit back, take a deep breath, remember how it feels to relax in the arms of my fiance, and it all makes sense once again.

aisle...

flowers cradled in her arms,
lace and crystal fall around her.
music resonates within the very
walls of her heart and
her breath catches at
the sight of her father -
a pillar of strength.
as tears threaten to overflow,
and she feels the whisper of
her veil across her face
she loops her arm through his
and takes the first step.